There once was a man from the sticks Whose limericks stopped at line six. They were fine till line five Then they took quite a dive — But the problem is easy to fix If you just ignore the last line, it doesn’t even follow the rhyme scheme oh god I’ve really lost control of this thing I’m so sorry…
There once was a fellow named Dan, Whose poetry never would scan. When told this was so, He replied, “Yes, I know– It’s because I try to squeeze as many syllables into the last line as I possibly can.”
Obviously I’ve been enjoying the shit out of Pikmin 4 but it absolutely IS the case that they’ve nerfed most of the enemies. Kids these days don’t even KNOW about getting your shit steam-rolled by (insert beady long legs variation) because there’s no lock-on targeting and you’re terrible at aiming for aerial enemies–either because you’re 10 years old or because you’re me, last month, replaying Pikmin 1 and 2, who’s still shit at aiming.
Back in my day we didn’t have “charge.” We didn’t have “Oatchi.” We didn’t have “targeting.” We had the c-stick and prayers. We had pikmin massacres set to the comically-dissonant sounds of vigorous and frantic trumpeting. Enemies respawned infinitely. Oh you cleared out the snagret nest in the Forest of Hope? Check again fuckarino. We added MORE enemies, actually, because fuck you. Coddled Pikmin 4 children only know the comfort and ease of traipsing about a land laid silent and soaked in blood. They know only the ambient pressure of absence, the finality of death, the placid nothing of an ecosystem they razed to the ground and which will never return no matter how many days they play. They enjoy the safety of scars and the nothing that follows brutality. Can you rationalize it? Is it fine, because you know your children will enjoy in sheltered complacency that which you’ve slaughtered and made no more? How can I kill the last downy snagret knowing its kind will never return? How can I justify harm to the mamuta which has wished no harm upon me? He does not return like an old friend the way he does in Pikmin 1. His death benefits no one but the money-hungry, and unlike in Pikmin 2, he will not respawn. How many have I killed in the vainglory pursuit of treasure?
Where was I going with this.
Oh I remembered. They also NERFED the dweevils. Those shits used to be HARD.
Do Not Let HR do this to you. It is not illegal to talk about wages in the work place. I did and got a 12% raise!
True info. Now let me add something: The power of documentation. (I was a long time steward in a nurses union.)
Remember: The “‘E” in email stands for evidence.
That cuts both ways. Be careful what you put into an email. It never really goes away and can be used against you.
But can also be a powerful tool for workplace fairness.
Case 1: Your supervisor asks you to do something you know is either illegal or against company policy. A verbal request. If things go wrong, you can count on them denying that they ever told you to do that. You go back to your desk, or wherever and you send them an email: “I just want to make sure that I understood correctly that you want me to do xxxxx” Quite often, once they see it in writing, they will change their mind about having you do it. If not, you have documentation.
Case 2: You have a schedule you like, you’ve had that schedule for a while, it works for you. Your supervisor comes to you and says “We’re really short-handed now and I need you to change your schedule just for a month until we can get someone else hired. It’s just temporary and you can have your old schedule back after a month.” A month goes by and they forget entirely that they made that promise to you. So, once again, when they make the initial request, you send them an email “I’m happy to help out temporarily, but just want to make sure I understand correctly that I will get my old schedule back after a month as you promised.” Documentation.
[Image ID: Text reading: In the middle of a busy clinic at our practice, I got pulled in by my manager to speak to HR, who must have made a special trip because she lives several states away, and told I was being 'investigated’ for discussing wages with my other employees. She told me it was against company policy to discuss wages.
Me; That’s illegal.
Them: (start italics) three slow, long seconds of staring at me blankly (end italics) Uh…
Me: That’s an illegal policy to have. The right to discuss wages is a right protected by the National Labor Relations board. I used to be in a union. I know this.
HR: Oh, this is news to me! I have been working HR for 18 years and I never knew that. Haha. Well try not do do it anyway, it makes people upset, haha.
Me: people are entitled to their opinions about what their work is worth. Bye.
I then left, and sent her several texts and emails saying I would like a copy of their company policy to see where this wage discussion policy was kept. She quickly called me back in to her office.
HR: You know what, there is no policy like that in the handbook! I double check. Sorry about the confusion, my apologies.
Me: You still haven’t given me the paper saying that we had this discussion. I am going to need some protection against retaliation.
HR: Oh haha yes here you go.
I just received a paper with legal letterhead and an apology saying there was no verbal warning or write up. Don’t even take their shit you guys. Keep talking about wages. Know your worth. /End ID]
At one of my old (shit) jobs my boss would continually come have these verbal discussions with me and would never put anything in writing I took to summarizing every discussion we had in email. Like “just to confirm that you asked me to do X by Y date and you understand that means I won’t be able to complete the previous task you gave me until Z date - 2 weeks later than originally scheduled - because you want me to prioritize this new project.
The woman would then storm back into my office screaming at me for putting the discussion in writing and arguing about pushing back the other project or whatever. At which point I would summarize that conversation in email as well. Which would bring her storming back in, rinse and repeat ad nauseum.
Anyway I cannot imagine how badly that job would have gone if I hadn’t put all her wildly unreasonable demands in writing. Bitch still hated me but she could never hang me for “missing deadlines” because I always had in writing that she’d pushed the project back because she wanted something else done first.
Paper your asses babes. Do not let them get away with shit. If they won’t put what they’re asking you to do in writing then write it up yourself and email it to them.
If you don’t have this kind of job but someday you’d might: start practicing.
After a casual conversation with friends, write up a brief synopsis of what you discussed & agreed to. (…Do not email this to friends unless you have their agreement that this would be a fun group project.) Get practice with,
“A, B, and C had a brief meeting about food options after the big game. We decided on pizza, with A&B agreeing to contribute X dollars each, and C agreeing to contribute Y dollars and also bring soda. A will call for pizza on the day of the game and schedule it for delivery at 8:30 pm.”
“A, B & C discussed movie options. A wanted something lite and fun; B wanted something scifi; C was fine with anything but horror. Nobody wanted superheroes. Decided on Lost Space Wanderers which opened last weekend; C agreed to research theatre options and report tomorrow.”
…and so on. Practice describing the results of “meetings” with friends and you’ll be ready to sum up “boss told me to set aside Project A to focus on Project B for the next two weeks” - because what’s likely is that boss didn’t say anything that clear; boss talked about how important Project B is and how the company needs parts X and Y done asap and you have the best skills for that, and when you mentioned how much time Project A was taking, boss said “eh don’t worry about that right now; marketing is breathing down my neck so we really need part X by Friday, okay?”
…at no point did you get a direct instruction.
Which is why anyone who is not the screaming-drama boss mentioned above would think it was perfectly reasonable for you to say, “I want to clarify the discussion we had earlier - you told me to focus on Project B to the exclusion of Project A for the next two weeks, even if that means Project A will miss its deadline; is that correct?”
“Ulysses Grant Dietz grew up in Syracuse, New York, where his Leave it to Beaver life was enlivened by his fascination with vampires, from Bela Lugosi to Barnabas Collins. He studied French at Yale (BA, 1977), and was trained to be a museum curator in the University of Delaware’s Winterthur Program in American Material Culture (MA, 1980). A decorative arts curator at the Newark Museum for thirty-seven years before he retired, Ulysses has never stopped writing for the sheer pleasure of it. Aside from books on Victorian furniture, art pottery, studio ceramics, jewelry, and the White House, Ulysses created the character of Desmond Beckwith in 1988 as his personal response to Anne Rice’s landmark novels. Alyson Books released his first novel, Desmond, in 1998. Vampire in Suburbia, the sequel, appeared in 2012. His most recent novel, Cliffhanger, was released by JMS Books in December 2020.
“Ulysses lives in suburban New Jersey with his husband of 45 years. They have two grown children, adopted in 1996.
“Ulysses is a great-great grandson of Ulysses S. Grant. His late mother, Julia, was the President’s last living great-grandchild; youngest daughter of Ulysses S. Grant III, and granddaughter of the president’s eldest son, Frederick. Every year on April 27 he gives a speech at Grant’s Tomb in New York City. He is also on the board of the U.S. Grant Presidential Library and Museum at Mississippi State University.”
And frankly, the novels sound like they slap:
Desmond was nominated for a Lambda Award.
“With his husband of 45 years.” You kids don’t know … they got together before AIDS, at the peak of the Gay Glam Life. They stayed together as their generation died around them, and made through it to the point where they could marry and have a legal family. He looks like a chipper preppie who never had a serious thought or care in the world, but it took *incredible* determination, commitment, and also luck to get here.
Broke: Acknowledging that a character who is an objectively terrible person is also a complex and intentionally well thought out individual with different levels of nuance you can empathize with in some ways while not in others is immediately “woobifying” or “poor little meow meowifying” them.
Woke: “This character is a bad person” and “this character is still a person” are two statements that can, should and do coexist and admitting that they exhibit nuance and depth and are more than just their bad actions doesn’t immediately excuse or condone their bad actions or mean that you’re ignoring or trying to soften the canonical version of the character.
Bespoke: That’s the whole point, that’s always been the point, to be made to empathize with horrible people so you can understand that they can be anyone, that bad people can be likeable, can be interesting, can be human, are human, and it’s scary to think about all the ways they’re just like you and all the ways they’re just like everything you hate, forcing the use of critical skills in media analysis, forcing a confrontation of the duality of man.
Whatever Level is Above Bespoke: But sometimes, yeah, sure, maybe they are a poor little meow meow, what are you gonna do, get a lawyer
…Not to get weird and dark on a useful/amuzing writing post, but…
Years and years ago, I read someone’s experience of finding out that his mom’s boyfriend was a serial killer. How much it sickened him to put together odd bits and pieces of their experiences together, recontextualizing them, suddenly understanding new and horrifying things.
But while that was awful, what really fucked him up later wasn’t the clues he’d missed or anything– it was that, one time, they’d been working together on some kind of home project, and he’d been on a ladder and suddenly gotten off balance– and his mom’s boyfriend had immediately reached out, yanked him back, both of them frightened and swearing and then gasping in the aftershocks of panic, and how grateful he’d been that the boyfriend had been there, how they’d both started laughing as the adrenaline washed through them and out again, hugging fiercely, how grateful he still was that the boyfriend had been there, because he owed his life to this man, this almost-father that had kept him safe and had been afraid for him, and the cognitive dissonance of that, the visceral disgust and the aching love and what it meant to be beholden to a monster for the gift of that moment–
And that’s why we need to practice the little lies of fiction, where we can see that characters may not always be rendered in black and white– it helps us learn how to live in a world that may serve us the worst people we may ever know doing us the greatest kindness of our lives.
Every fun post on here that encourages people to have hobbies/be creative always gets an avalanche of “Some people are poor Karen” type reactions and respectfully, you’re all super annoying. I’ve never lived above the poverty line and this is a list of hobbies I have that were cheap or entirely free:
Read books: Go to the library, lend a book from a friend
knitting, crochet, embroidery: Get some needles from the bargan store and ask around, people have leftovers from projects they’ll happily give you. Thrift stores also often carry leftover fabric and other supplies. And talk about your hobby loud enough and an old lady will show up and gift you their whole collection, because there are way more old ladies with a closet full of wool than there are grandchildren who want to take up the hobby.
Origami/paper crafts: get some scrap paper and scissors, watch a youtube tutorial
walking: put on shoes open door
pilates/yoga/etc: get a mat or just use your carpet, watch a youtube tutorial
Houseplants: look online for people that swap plant cuttings. There are always people giving out stuff for free to get you started. If you’re nice enough you’ll probably get extra
gardening: You’re gonna need some space for this one of course but you can just play around with seeds and cuttings from your grocery vegetables.
aquarium keeping is a bit of an obscure one but I got most of my stuff second hand for cheap or free and now I have a few thousand euro worth of material and plants.
drawing/art: You get very far just playing with bargan store materials. I did my entire art degree with mostly those.
writing: Rotate a cow in your head for free
cooking: again one you can make very expensive, but there are many budget recipes online for free. Look for African or Asian shops to get good rice and cheap spices.
Join a non-profit: Cities will have creative organisations who let you use woodworking machines or screen presses or laser cutters or 3D printers etc etc etc for a small fee. Some libraries also lend out materials.
candle making: You need some molds (cheap), wick, two old cooking pots for au bain marie melting and a ton of scrap candles, ask people to keep them aside for you.
a herbarium, flower pressing: Leaves are free, wildflowers too, ask if you can take from peoples gardens.
puzzles: thrift stores, your grandma probably
Citizen science: look for projects in your area or get the iNaturalist app
And lastly and most importantly: Share! Share your supllies, share your knowledge. Surround yourself with other creative people and before you know it someone will give you a pot of homemade jam and when you want to paint your kabinet someone will have leftover paint in just the right color and you can give them a homemade candle in return and everyone is having fun and building skills and friendships and not a cent is exchanged. We have always lived like this, it’s what humans are build to do.
And all of it sure beats sitting behind a computer going “No stranger, I refuse to let myself have a good time.”
Anyway I’m logging off bc I’m making some badges for a friend who cooked for me and then I’m going to fix some holes in everyones clothes.
Birdwatching - download a free app for identifying and/or logging and go for walks or hikes or just sit in your yard/at your window depending on where you live. (My biologist friend uses the Merlin Bird ID app for identifying and eBird for logging, so that’s what I got now that I’m getting into it. These apps are associated btw, both by the Cornell Lab of Ornithology). A cheap/basic pair of binoculars helps too.
Crosswords and other word puzzles - lots of free sites
Learn a language - Duolingo is free, among other apps
Photography - Most people have smartphones these days that actually have decent enough cameras that could suffice for beginners and intermediates - the important part is your eye and the composition, etc. Plus there are free Photoshop-like sites for editing, like pixlr.com. Also you can find old, great quality DSLRs that still work for cheap! They’re not like cell phones lol; my Canon is almost 20 years old and works like a charm. And good ol’ YouTube University can give you beginner lessons if you don’t know what to look for or how to get started.
Journaling (and/or bullet journaling)
Read lyrics along with songs while listening to them. If you don’t have Spotify, there are tons of free lyric websites out there.
Research an unfamiliar topic either online at home or at the library.
Also for any hobby or just life, there’s always the Buy Nothing Project and freecycle and Trash Nothing where people exchange things rather than throwing away stuff they don’t need!
been listening to the knuckles raps from sa2 while pretending to not know the music is from a video game and i highly recommend the experience. really good from the perspective of a normal rapper who talks about ghosts trying to kill him and his ability to telepathically detect gemstones in the earth
i did this once while driving a classmate who knew nothing about sonic to college and she said in full seriousness ‘it’s so sad that he feels like he can’t depend on anyone but himself’
